Introverted. That means you don't like people, right? For many years, I felt like something was wrong with me. I tended to enjoy being by myself. I preferred solo work rather than group work. I felt exhausted after spending time with others. It wasn't until college that I realized that I was most likely an introvert. Unfortunately, it wasn't until recently that I realized this was normal.
Why did I think it was abnormal? I could never quite articulate why I believed that being an introvert was a disadvantage. It wasn't until I read the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain that I began to understand the nuances within introversion and extroversion. That you aren't necessarily all one or all the other. That we are a mix of the two. Additionally, it helped me see that when you learn how to adjust your life to accommodate your personality style your life can feel more balanced. For me this looks like taking time for myself to clear my head after my wife and I have hosted friends at the house. This time needs to be more lengthy if we hosted people that I do not know very well. I recharge best when I am able to be alone with my thoughts. I can work through what I've experienced or I can just clear my head. My wife has learned how to pick up on my need for "me" time and will help me get it. It is helpful to inform those around you of your tendency and to request their assistance.
Knowing my tendency for introversion has profoundly impacted my experience in the military. If you claim that you are introverted in the Army, you get a lot of weird looks. Many leaders just assume that you are Type A and that you must be outgoing if you are a leader. Or at least they expect you to be that way. My experience coming into the Army was an interesting one. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked why I joined the service with the background I have. I was educated in Graphic Design and worked in the design industry for quite a few years before leaving to serve my Country. These assumptions within the Army have begun to shift as more and more leaders are learning emotional intelligence.
While leadership has had difficulty adjusting to dealing with others in a more nuanced way, this is not the only challenge of working in the military for an introvert. Many times my job entails working in close proximity with others for prolonged periods of time. I would often handle my angst poorly before I learned to create space for myself to recharge. I would blow up at subordinates or would withdraw from friends. Needless to say there aren't many benefits from mishandling my need to recharge after being around people.
It has taken me years to slowly fix the internal narrative I believed that introversion was wrong. Now, I realize that my introversion has served me well. It has made me think through and figure out how to handle being around people more frequently than I would usually want. Most importantly, it has provided me with the tools for recharging, enabling me to be more fully present with my family and friends.